Where is the balance between care of self and care of
others?
Many people who attend our Meditation and Wellness seminars share that their
motivation for participating is related to hitting the reset button and taking better
care of themselves. Many often relate that they are overworked and overwhelmed
with caring for others. Some are going through relationship changes that require
grieving losses and then finding new sources of relatedness. Upon a closer look
many reveal that they have been in denial of their own needs, physically,
emotionally, socially and spiritually.
When we examine where to begin, we realize that first we must slow down and
listen to our bodies and inner dialogue. Our silent meditation programs with yoga
and meditation create a space for an introspective process that enhances self-
awareness on many levels. The self-knowledge acquired reconnects us with our
intuition, which reveals what simultaneously best serves others and us. The decision
to attend a retreat for self-care is often supported by a friend or family member.
This is a gift we can offer others and ourselves.
Many of us may not have yet fully embraced a program of self-care. Our busy
culture may not support talking care of ourselves and in many instances views self
care as selfishly motivated. Where is the balance between care of self and care of
others? The analogies of balancing care of self and others need a more expansive
metaphor. Perhaps first “know thy self”.
The golden rule, “treat others as we would have them treat us“ benevolently
presumes we know what we and others need. Henry David Thoreau once said that,
“If people are coming to help me, let me know in advance so that I can hide behind
my wood shed.” If we are first clearer about our own needs, then we might be
better able to discern what others need.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Sid Jordan has combined a career as a licensed clinical psychologist and meditation teacher since 1971. As a clinical psychologist, he taught individual, group and family psychotherapy, meditation, yoga and community psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at the Medical University of S. C. from 1969-93. During this period he also served for five years as director of the Mental Health, Alcohol and Drug Services at the Franklin C. Fetter Neighborhood Health Care Center in Charleston S. C.
